About
Just your average Chinese/Jewish lesbian couple making a baby in the South. What?
While the “how we met” story is hazy and depends on who you ask, it’s safe to say that we started dating in September of 2002, while we were living in the Northeast. A couple of years later, we moved in together; in 2005 we moved to the Southern city in which we now reside. We have since bought our first house and adopted our first dog. We had a wedding in September in 2008 in Massachusetts, serving as the huge fabulous blowout party we wanted before we had kids.
We love trying new food, going out to eat at fun restaurants, playing with the pup, and hanging out with our peeps. Mama Jae is in graduate school. She’s the Chinese one. She likes cooking, discovering new wines, and all things techie. Mama Bea, the biological mom, is the Jewish one. When she isn’t at work in a local art museum, she’s reading, eating whatever Mama Jae just made for dinner, or taking long walks on the beach. Just kidding. There’s no beach here. She does take the dog on long walks though.
“What is a bao?” you might ask? Well. Bao is one of the three Chinese words Mama Bea knows. It means “bun.” The other two words she knows are cha and sao. All three together? Cha sao bao, “steamed pork bun.” This is essential knowledge, and really, Mama Bea hasn’t felt the need to go much further in expanding her vocabulary. She can order what she wants at dim sum with authority, and has a foolproof way to entertain her mother-in-law at the drop of a hat. (Apparently her pronounciation evokes hilarity.) Anyway, now it will serve as our term of choice for the baby we are making.
When we started this blog, it was about us trying to conceive. We began it as a way to keep our sanity and keep track of our process, as well as to connect with all the other potential dyke moms out there. Now that the bao is in the oven, it is about our experiences during the pregnancy. It is also a way for us to keep our families and close friends posted on our progress. (We won’t use our real names here for a variety of reasons, so if you know us, please keep that in mind as you comment.)
Thanks for reading!
Hi! I just found your blog. My wife and I are 1 week into our 2 active TTC cycle. She is also Chinese and I also now only a few words in Chinese, though I refuse to speak them in the presence of her family (not will I “attempt” to eat with chopsticks)… Good luck on your journey, I look forward to following along.
Hey there…we've been following your blog for awhile – congrats on the BFP! I'm the Chinese other mother and she's the Jewish biological mother from the South (we live in Austin now).
Well damn! It's great to “meet” another couple so similar to us. Thanks for your sweet comment and for reading!
Hey! I just found you on here (linked to you from another ttc'ers blog. So excited to keep reading. I hope you will check ours out too!
Hello Bao,
I have been reading your blog for a while and thus have been encouraged to start my own! I know as my partner and I begin our journey we will also need support too. Please feel free to stop by my blog anytime. Congrats, BTW!!!
Hi Bea and Jae,
I found your blog on lesbianfamily.org. congratulations on your pregnancy!
I hope you don’t mind me writing to tell you about my book.
I am coeditor of a new anthology on queer parenting, just released in the United States: And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents and Our Unexpected Families. As we say on our cover copy, it’s “a funny and occasionally heartbreaking collection of personal essays that offers an intimate and unprecedented look at the relative risks and unexpected rewards of queer, do-it-yourself baby-making. While in many cases these are stories of finding (or not) the “right” biological stuff for baby making, they are also stories that call on us to re-conceive of family beyond biology.”
We’ve been getting great reviews from the likes of Bay Windows (“And Baby Makes More is a thoughtful, funny, and poignant volume about the variety of ways we define families today.”), Mombian (“… the kind of rich explorations of LGBTQ parenting we need more of today”), The Dominion (“The stories in this collection are loud and inspiring examples of courage, creativity and love and queer parenting. … This book succeeds in the most urgent of the game: creating a space for the stories to be heard.”) and the Gay & Lesbian Review (“… diverse, poignant, and sometimes very funny…. surprising, enlightening and mandatory reading for any lesbians or gay men thinking of embarking on adventures in the wild world of parenthood.”)
I hope the anthology might be of interest to you, and to your extended circles of family and friends. We’d very much appreciate it if you would pass on the word to anyone you think might enjoy the book, which is available online and at many independent and alternative bookstores. You can find more information as well at my blog: http://mamanongrata.com/?page_id=303.
All the best for a Happy Mother’s Day!
Susan Goldberg
Darn It, I though I was so unusual a Jewish, Lesbian, vegetarian but i prefer dyke though lesbian sounds better whit those words… married to a GOY for sure! But momma Bea and Jae you trumped that for sure!
We are also trying to get this Baby started and are inspired by you. Its not so lonely anymore I also have a blog more of a rant certainly not eloquently write as I just vent.
My partner and I have followed your pregnancy and are so thrilled that Bao has arrived! She is gorgeous! I left a comment on that post but then quickly realized it didn't tell you who we were! So, I am leaving the comment here
Congrats to the newest mamas on the block from 2 hopeful mamas in waiting
A&K
(dosbabymamas.blogspot.com)