quick question/ call for advice
Hey everyone, I am kind of a stressball over here, but I’m hoping you’ll forgive my absence on your blogs long enough to help me out. In the midst of house prepping and gallery changeovers, I’ve also been getting emails from my local list serves with subject lines like “Space running out in [Kickass Childbirth Class]!” My oldest sister swears by the Bradley Method—she said she never could have gotten through natural childbirth without those classes—and I think we are going to go that route, but I would love to get more input since I know nothing about any of the other options. Which classes did you do or are you considering doing (I’m especially interested in your choices if you had or want(ed) to have natural childbirth) and what did/didn’t you like about them? I’d really appreciate any words of wisdom here!
We borrowed a hypnobirthing book (which is different from hypnobabies, though I'm not sure how) and it was … not for us. We never actually ended up taking any other classes, because we couldn't decide, and then time ran out for us (we were going to take a birthworks class, which isn't so much a method, as information and helping you prepare in advance, but then I ended up being induced before the one we were going to take). And everything was okay. But our midwife was really fabulous with coaching and helping with stuff, and I'm certain that if I hadn't been stuck to the bed (due to BP issues) I likely wouldn't have needed an epidural.
But then, I've never been the type that preparing for something that I'd never experienced before helped…
Well, I'm not pregnant yet, but I am kind of a birth junkie and have been reading about birth options obsessively for, like, years. I'm weird. I was born at home, and have known for a while that I wanted a natural childbirth, though I think we'll use a birth center because C is scared of home birth. I will absolutely not give birth in a hospital unless I have no other choice–hospitals are NOT a way to have a natural birth. I recommend _Your Best Birth_ for more about this. Yes, it is Ricki Lake, but it's very readable and makes so much sense.
OK, off of soapbox now.
I plan to use Hypnobabies, which is actually much less hokey and strange than it sounds. Basically you practice quiet meditation daily starting at about week 20 by listening to CD tracks. Then you use a sort of meditation and relaxation techniques to lessen pain. The idea being that tension, physical or mental, causes pain to worsen, and if you can teach yourself to relax you pain will be less. Many people swear their births were pain-free with Hypnobabies, which I am a leetel skeptical of, but the whole idea makes lots of sense to me. With Hypnobabies you can train your partner as well, so if part of the draw of Bradley for you is that partner support you'd have it with Hypnobabies as well.
Obv, the huge disclaimer is that I haven't done any of this yet, but I am an obsessive reader, and this is the thing that jives for me the most out of everything I've read. Good luck in whatever you choose!
Ohhh, you are in the deep end of the pool: totally over my head now. I have no advice. Sorry. But I would imagine that you will get fabulous info from the Blogland mommies. I will be interested to read what you decide.
We did Bradley and loved it. The whole use of the word “husband” can really throw you off, but our instructor was very inclusive (for the mostpart) and I think we learned a lot from each other (us about all the childbirth stuff and her about the lesbian mommies stuff). All of our Bradley entries are tagged on our blog if you want to take a look. I can't say all of it was useful, but practicing the relaxation techniques, as well as pain-relieving techniques were great.
Yeah, the “husband-coached (c)” thing is a total turnoff, for sure, but if it’s the best option for us, we don’t want to shoot ourselves in the foot over their icky word choices. I will go look back at those entries–thanks so much.
I wanted to add to what Strawberry said. We were pursuing natural childbirth and were under the care of midwifes. In the end, I needed some intervention and chose an epidural (30 hours in to a 48 hr labor), but the Bradley techniques were very useful to me. Strawberry was a fantastic support partner, and very involved in the birth. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way and from the preliminary research I did Bradley was the best choice for that in our area.
I highly recommend “The Birth Partner” by Patty Simkin as reading for you both.
For our first (when my wife was birthing) we took a fairly mainstream natural childbirth class, and it wasn't all that useful in terms of actual techniques for labor. It did, however, provide some useful medical info that we did end up finding useful when our (very long) home birth transferred to the hospital (and everything turned out fine).
For our second (when I was pregnant), having supported my wife through labor, I was dead set on getting some more techniques for managing an unmedicated labor. We did hypnobirthing and took it quite seriously. Both of us practiced the meditations regularly from about 12 weeks on. I got really good at relaxing and really strongly cued to my wife's voice to get me to relax. It is hokey, but if you have hippie-ish leanings or enjoy guided meditation, it might work for you. I love that kind of stuff.
My birth was not easy. I had an early induction due to unexpected liver complications, and my planned home birth suddenly changed to a three-plus day hospital birth, complete with gallons of pitocin, and about four different doctors by the time our son was born. They won't be putting me on any hypnobirthing class videos (where all the women are kind of spookily silent– I was *loud*), but the hypnobirthing practice absolutely paid off. It was particularly useful during the final hour, when I was absolutely at the end of my rope, but when our doula guided me through a relaxing different parts of my body between contractions, I responded quickly to her voice and it really helped me make it that last bit. I don't think I would have been able to that without the practice. I was beyond thrilled that our son was born vaginally (after things looked very much like they were going the way of surgery for failed induction), and after having to give up so much control over the birth, I am proud I made it without the epidural, even though with all that pitocin, I wouldn't really call it “natural.” All of this to say, despite many obstacles, our son's birth was great, and the hypnobirthing techniques really helped. One downside, there is minimal medical info in the class, somewhat on purpose, which can be a drawback if things don't go as planned.
But if you really have high hopes of a less-medicated birth, no matter the location, but especially in a hospital, and there's any way you can swing it, get a very experienced doula. Ours was awesome. I'm very grateful to her. I wish we'd had her at the birth of our first.
i bought the hypnobabies home study course. i never made it through all of the lessons, but there was a daily affirmations track that i listened to frequently when my nerves/fears started getting out of control. i really enjoyed that – it helped talk me down off the crazy ledge many times.
i didnt end up using the techniques during the birth because i was c-sectioned. while at the hospital, we met a great lactation consultant who is also a doula – we'll be hiring her for our next births. this past birth tought me the importance of having a good advocate/coach there for you.
we did take a weekend childbirth class that was offered by our hospital. all that did was scare me. would not recommend doing that…
good luck!
I am decidedly not pregnant, so this is not advice based on experience. From what I've been told by quite a few mothers I know, though, the birthday classes were not very helpful because the birth goes nothing like you planned. Most of the moms I've talked to say they would just skip the childbirth classes.
What my friends and coworkers DO recommend, however, are the following: pregnancy yoga (which helps you learn to breath/relax), breastfeeding classes (because that is something most women need a lot of help with), and a doula to be your advocate and help you through the birth. My best friend is a starving artist, and she says the money spent on the doula was worth every penny.
Yeah, the “husband-coached (c)” thing is a total turnoff, for sure, but if it's the best option for us, we don't want to shoot ourselves in the foot over their icky word choices. I will go look back at those entries–thanks so much.
Wow–what an amazing story. Thanks so much for it, and for your doula advice. We've been researching that as well. SO MUCH to think about!
Awesome. Thanks. I will get it out of the library ASAP!
We found the book Birth Skills by Juju Sundin and Sarah Murdoch to be really useful and practical with exercises for the partner as well as the birth mum. Juju is a physio and goes into quite alot of explanation about why you feel what you do and gives very practical advice and exercises for each stage of labour. They are also cover when things don't go to plan and certainly don't make you feel any less of a mum – there is enough to feel guilty about already without adding to it! It's certainly not very hypnobirthing – we almost needed earmuffs we were so loud! And I can highly recommend having some lemons handy near delivery day…
To jump in late (ha, my usual) we are planning to try hypnobirthing – not just the book(s) but classes. Our very pregnant friend has been taking h.b. classes with her hubby and says they're fantastic. She's not a partic. crunchy type, either, and her enthusiasm for the h.b. was very convincing. It seems to fit Uno's personality, too. And I'll second those who recommend a doula – this seems invaluable in a hospital setting. My cousin is a certified doula and has been walking us through creating very detailed birth plan(s) – the “if all goes well” one and a contingency version. That alone has been hugely helpful. It's reassuring to know that she'll be a super knowledgeable advocate during the birth, esp. in case anything does go wrong and I lose my cool (which, if I take this hypno business seriously, I might be able to avoid! We'll see if I can learn anything about relaxation.
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My former boss did the Bradley method and loved it. She was only in labor for 3 hours! (Don't get too excited though, I don't think that's typical)