How to make yourself crazy in six simple steps

2009 October 29
tags: ,
by mama bea

1. Start trying to conceive. Do not chart. Do this for three months.

2. Skip a cycle and have a weirdly long period. Get bored/concerned and decide to chart and sign up for F-friend.

3. Do your fourth cycle’s IUI and feel upbeat and happy about timing, mostly due to F-friend telling you you did the IUI on the same day you ovulated.

4. Ignore most features of your free trial of VIP F-friend for the first three weeks of your cycle. Then, at 10 dpo/CD23, start obsessing and looking at all the pregnancy predictor analysis tools. Pull your hair out over the fact that F-friend tells you you have 32 “early pregnancy signs” points but not what that means, or how many people typically have at this time. Think twice about entering additional symptoms, because they make the point counter go up or down and it’s unclear why. Realize this is counterproductive and enter them anyway. Then check the points again after each entry.

5. Decide at 11 dpo/CD24 that you are having cramps and are therefore definitely not pregnant. Feel on the verge of tears all day. Maintain pessimistic attitude. Decide not to test on the day the doc said you could because why bother. Mope.

6. The next day, have the highest temp you’ve had yet. Disregard the fact that you don’t really trust your thermometer. Curse yourself for not temping before now, since you have nothing to compare this to. For the first time since starting TTC, do things like googling “12 dpo symptoms” in search of ones that match yours. Find some. Try to maintain sense of reality. Decide that you will, in fact, test on the day the doc said you could so you can stop acting like a maniac. Curse yourself for getting your own hopes up again, when they will only come crashing down as soon as you test. Try to assess whether those feel like period-related cramps or a maybe a little different from period-related cramps. Find this impossible. Decide to blog instead.

View Comments leave one →
  1. 2009 October 29

    Hooray, you've found the magic crazy potion!

    Good luck, you!

  2. 2009 October 29

    Google history from our most recent TTC month:

    10dpo implantation symptoms
    10dpo pregnancy symptoms
    too early for symptoms 10dpo pregnant
    10dpo acne pregnancy symptom?
    10dpo breast tenderness early pregnancy symptom?
    10dpo how early can i test?
    11dpIUI symptoms?
    early symptoms implantation 11dp IUI
    11 dpIUI
    11dpiui
    11dpo

    repeat, ad nauseum, for every day until we tested again.

    :) Hang in there!

  3. 2009 October 29

    the internets can be wonderfully comforting and crazy-making at the same time! whens testing day??

  4. 2009 October 29
    Peony permalink

    Oh my, the craziness of each try. Your blog post has some promising bits of information. I sure hope it all adds up to something very exciting.
    When is test day???

  5. 2009 October 29
    cindyhoo2 permalink

    Well yes, I do believe you have found the perfect equation for driving yourself crazy. Well done! (I think celebrating our neuroses is nice) But on your defense, you do have quite a few optimism-building symptoms. Here's to hope for this cycle *raising my glass of sugar, caffiene and alcohol free beverage*

  6. 2009 October 29

    bao! NEVER look at your FF chart after you inseminate! :) it'll kill you. i stopped temping after we inseminated after the first try. it made me SO insane. it was bad enough that my body created pregnancy symptoms every month!

    be gentle with yourself. and don't be afraid to buy a couple packages of tests. we've all tested more than once and early. it's an equivalent level of crazy, i find. ain't no shame in it.

    we can't wait to hear about your positive. you have the makings of a very cute story! :)

  7. 2009 October 29
    district_of_confusion permalink

    “Try to assess whether those feel like period-related cramps or a maybe a little different from period-related cramps. Find this impossible.”

    YES!! This is exactly what I'm going through right now. I'm having very mild cramps – but this could either be the start of major AF cramps, or pregnancy cramps! Gah! I am testing in the morning, unless AF shows overnight. Lord, this is enough to drive anyone absolutely out of their minds.

    Sending you sticky thoughts and babydust!!

  8. 2009 October 29
    libberal permalink

    You sound like you've been sucked into the Bermuda Triangle of TWW, FF, and Google, and have managed to stay sane enough to keep your sense of humor-good job! Therein seems to lie the biggest challenge; keeping things in perspective and being able to make fun of yourself (not that I've been tww yet, just observing the internets.) Whatever the outcome, right now you sound healthy, optimistic, and realistic. Kudos! Will you remind me to be this positive and funny when my turn comes? xoxoxo

  9. 2009 October 29
    Pufferfish permalink

    FF will seriously mess with your mind during the TWW. I see it has you deep in the grasp of crazy! When is testing day?? We're all dying to know now!
    I hope all these signs are pointing to the right thing, the BFP!

  10. 2009 October 30

    Yep, it's a sure way to make yourself crazy. FWIW, the cycle I got pregnant FF was totally confused and kept moving around my O date and giving me very low likelyhood rating of getting pregnant.

    Hang in there!

  11. 2009 October 30

    Did you test? I can't wait to hear!

  12. 2009 October 30
    district_of_confusion permalink

    Sadly, it was not meant to be for me this month.

  13. 2009 October 31

    Wah. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you this month. Have you started blogging yet…? :)

  14. 2009 October 31

    That is like the best description EVER. Fabulous metaphor–you totally hit the nail on the head!
    Can't wait for y'all to start so I can start cheering you on as sweetly as you've been doing for us.

  15. 2010 August 27
    canonball permalink

    HAH this made me feel so much better!. Im am # 5 right now, and being very pessimistic. Its nice to know that other people think the same way

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