Pompeii and excitement

There are times in my life where I am doing something, and because of the path I’ve been on to get there, it seems logical. But then I take a mental step back and think, what the eff is going on here? And sometimes the thing I am doing strikes me as completely hilarious and bizarre. I always think about Pompeii at those times, especially if I am in a weird position: like, what if Pompeii happened right now and hundreds of years later archaeologists found me in this exact position? I had that experience yesterday at physical therapy, a.k.a. hoo-ha workout class, when my physical therapist was poking around inside my nether regions and asking, does this hurt? Does this? and massaging various spots. And her office has all these weird straps and balls and goops and gels in it and I can’t help but think of Motel of the Mysteries, one of my favorite nerdy museumy kids’ books, in which the archaeologist of the future finds a toilet seat and decides it’s part of a religious ritual.

Anyway, it got weirder. I’ll spare you the details, but there was discussion about using various things to “stretch” myself so the speculum didn’t feel so invasive. She advised me to buy a vibrator. More homework, I guess! (I wonder what physical therapists in Alabama do in this situation.)

Today, the final steps before everything is in place. Last night we decided we are officially going to do this this month. Eeeeee! So today I will pay the necessary fees to our clinic and make sure our purchasing order is in place and everything is ready for them to receive the shipment. Then I’ll place the order! Once it arrives, the next step is to wait until my period starts. Here we go!